Trauma Tantrums and How to Use Them as Fuel

As someone that has trauma outburst on the regular, I want to tell you that you are not alone. Trauma is a huge part of most people’s lives and comes in so many different shapes and sizes. Even for “normal” families like mine, I have trauma linked to abandonment, adequacy, and feeling worthy of love. This is nothing that my parents intentionally did, but I think most trauma is created totally unintentionally. Let’s talk about not using your trauma as an excuse and learning to embrace it. Stop letting something from the past directly impact your future.

As I previously stated, trauma comes in so many different forms. I think the hardest part of dealing with trauma is never know what is going to trigger an outburst or trantrum. What do I define a trauma trantrum? I will give you an example. If I am on the phone with my husband and I have made my point twice and he does not understand the point I am trying to make, I lose my tempter because I am not feeling heard, when really, he just did not understand what I was saying. This stems from past relationships and is 1000% not his fault, but that is trauma. Your partner does not deserve to be treated poorly because someone else treated YOU poorly and they are dealing with the aftermath. If you have untreated trauma, it is YOUR responsibility to take care of it. No one is in charge of your happiness and it is completely unfair to put that burden on someone. Knowing that you are acting out of hurt from past trauma is crucial in starting to heal and learn from that trauma. Do the work! Something that I had to do to learn how to recognize and categorize my trauma was go to THERAPY! After two failed marriages, I realized I had to work through some serious issues to determine why I kept letting people that hurt my both mentally and physically into my life.

I know that dealing with emotions and working through the trauma is HARD. Sometimes, it feels better to just let the feelings lie dormant, but the thing about trauma is that is never truly is dormant. It does not go anywhere. It creeps in when you least expect it and most of the time, it will completely take you by surprise. EMBRACE your past and LEARN from it.

As you do the work to be the best version of yourself, you will love yourself even more. Want to know why?? You will realize how strong you truly are and you will shock and awe yourself for what you have overcome. You are becoming a better version of yourself every day when you are willing to do the work. Do not let someone or an event from your past have the power to dictate your future happiness. Take control of that trauma and use it as fuel and look it dead in the eyes and say to it, “I AM STRONGER THAN YOU.”

I want to tell you that I am proud of you. I am proud of the version of your today and so excited for the version of you down the road. I cannot wait for the day that you look in the mirror and recognize what a badass you really are. Be nice to others, but most importantly, be kind to yourself.

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