Being Grateful, Even for the Bad

Anyone who has gone through a really hard time can attest that it is SO challenging to be grateful when you are at a low point in your life. Gratitude is something that I have struggled with for years! I feel like it is so easy to get in a rut and almost crave the saddens and darkness rather than going through the motions to pull yourself out of the dark time. The phrase "misery loves company" comes to mind when I think about the times that I stopped focusing on gratitude and let the dark side win. So, how do we find gratitude even in bad situations?

I think it is so much easier when you are in the happy parts of life to feel gratitude. That's a given, right? Everything is going my way, so of course, I am grateful. This is not what I want to focus on. I want to focus on truly being grateful even when you are at your lowest point. Being grateful for bad situations is HARD. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was smile through tough times in my life and really try to remember that better days are coming. If it were not for the bad in our life, we would not recognize the good. Just like if we never had darkness, we would not appreciate when it is bright outside.

In dark times and when you are lacking gratitude, because that WILL happen. It happens to everyone and that is okay, try to change the way you see situations. One way that I have improved my quality of gratitude is flipping the script on how I feel about different circumstances. Let me give you a simple, but effective method. When I get really frustrated about something, I try to find the part of me that is grateful, even if it is the smallest thing. If someone is mean to me or does something to hurt my feelings, rather than letting it effect my mood or my day, I simply say to myself, I cannot control the actions of others. I then send positive vibes their way (I use prayer, but you do whatever you do) and I thank God for giving me an opportunity to be kind in a mean world. I could easily feed into the darkness, but that would end poorly.

We live sometimes monotonous lives. You get in a routine and you see all the social media of people living their best lives and it makes it hard to be grateful for your little routine. Do not let the outside appearance of someone else’s' lives negatively affect your gratitude. Instead, take time to be grateful for the laundry that you have to do. Be grateful for the argument you got in with your spouse because it means you are learning boundaries and becoming closer. Be grateful for the demanding job because it means that you are an asset. Stop allowing yourself to get down and depressed over things you have no control over.

Lastly, we are going to talk about being grateful to people that truly hurt you. For me, I was in a string of abusive relationships and it took years for me to finally be able to show gratitude for that time in my life because if it were not for those terrible experiences, I would not have been able to have the level of gratitude I have in my life now. The bad situations really helped me appreciate the good.

I know that everyone is on a different journey and there are times that it just feels like a bottomless pit of sadness and you have no idea how you are going to be happy again. I feel you. I see you. I understand you. Just start showing gratitude even in hard situations and claw your way out of that dark place. Always be grateful for the bad because it always leads to something good.

Pro tip: If you are struggling to start with being grateful, start a gratitude journal and start every single day writing it in. I remember starting mine and all I could come up with some days was that I was alive. That's okay! The more and more you writing in your gratitude journal and highlight the little bright parts of your life, the easier it will be to appreciate the good, bad, sad, and ugly. You will be a gratitude champ before you know it! For more information on gratitude journals, feel free to shoot me a message and I can point you in the right direction!

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